The Continuous 3DS Wall Project

In the spirit of our previous efforts to showcase the horrible atrocities committed to the Wii by third-party developers, we at Pietriots are proud to announce our new 3DS Wall.

The 3rd Party Wall of Shame was an analysis of wrongs committed after the fact.  This wall is intended to be a display of the building libraries of every developer for the 3DS, along with aggregated critical scores of each title individually and together as a group.

The original wall was made in response to unscrupulous claims from a few third parties that complained that their games were not selling on the Wii, despite their “obvious quality,” and that people were buying Nintendo’s games instead. The 3rd Party Wall of Shame showed those claims to be totally unfounded, as said third parties published some of the worst titles in their histories.  The question was asked, “Who deserves to sell more?”  The responses were silence and sudden anger at the creators of the Wall.

This is an ongoing project, which I will attempt to keep up with weekly or bi-weekly, depending on holidays or work.  And sometimes just mood.

Before I begin, it must be made clear that this is not an anti-third party project.  It is simply an analysis of game output.

First up is Nintendo

Nintendogs – 73%  Steel Diver – 60%  Pilotwings Resort – 71%

Nintendo’s Full Average – 68%

Not bad for an initial offering, there’s plenty more where that came from, and the average is definitely going to increase.

Next is Capcom

SSFIV3D – 86%

Capcom’s Full Average – 86%

Definitely off to a right start on 3DS.  And hey, starting with a quality game has lead to this game being one of the highest sellers on the platform initially.  Wonder if there is something to that phenomenon.

Tecmo Koei is next

Samurai Warriors Chronicles – 61%

Tecmo Koei’s Full Average – 61%

Definitely a good start here.  So far I have not seen much in the way of the shovelware that 3rd parties plagued Wii with…

Ubisoft

Ghost Recon Shadow Wars – 80%  Combat of Giants – 43%  Splinter Cell 3D – 47%  Rabbids Travel in Time – 68% Rayman 3D – 65% Asphalt 3D – 42%

Ubisoft’s Full Average – 57.5%

Holy crap.  Despite actually having a few well-reviewed games, Ubisoft is in full software deluge mode.  Keep in mind that they recently announced that they would be developing fifteen more games for the 3DS.  Just let that settle in your mind a bit.

And here we have EA

Madden Football – 50%  The Sims 3 – 50%  My GardenCancelled in shame.

EA’s Full Average – 50%

Please note that at the conception of this project, My Garden still existed yet had no boxart, so I concocted one.  Precisely half-ass reviews for half-ass games, including a baffling decision to exclude multiplayer from Madden.  Throw in a pointless Sims 3 port and EA’s looking to actually be the worst 3DS developer.  And apparently the worst performing, too.  EA’s 3DS unit must really be directionless, but it’s not too late to get some fresh ideas.  Hopefully not ones like My Garden.

Namco-Bandai is next

Ridge Racer 3D – 74%

Namco-Bandai’s Full Average – 74%

Critics seem warm to Ridge Racer, but it remains to be seen whether Namco has anything with more substance in store for the 3DS.  Not a bad start, say the critics.

Konami

PES 2011 3D – 73%

Konami’s Full Average – 73%

Konami says they have more in store, like Metal Gear and other such things.  But so far they seem competent enough to at least get multiplayer sports done.

LucasArts is next

Lego Star Wars III – 69%

LucasArts Average – 69%

I get the feeling this will be the only LucasArts 3DS game for a long while.  It’s licensed, but at least it isn’t really shitty.

Let’s have a look at Seg-

WHOA!  Huge Monkey Box attack!

Super Monkey Ball 3D – 58%

Sega’s Full Average – 58%

The battered and bruised Monkey Ball series can only give Sega the dubious claim that they aren’t the worst 3DS developers.

The 3DS has many, many games announced and this project will seek to include all of them as well as their developers.  The only rule for inclusion on the Wall is that a developer must have boxart for visual display in retail outlets (also so I can make these images), and must have actually released a game for the 3DS.  NIS America has a game announced in Cave Story 3D.  But they have neither released it, nor any other game, so they will not be included.

I hope to keep this wall updated as much as possible.

(Disclaimer: All aggregate scores are taken from GameRankings.com and serve only as a zeitgeist view of the games themselves.  You should contact your own tastes to see if you actually agree with the reviewers.)

Additional reading:
List of all 3DS Wall entries

10 thoughts on “The Continuous 3DS Wall Project”

  1. This is a great start, it perfectly illustrates what third parties were doing wrong, in the form of Ubisoft. Capcom and Namco so far are providing THE SOLUTION. Quality games on a console from THE START. Let the audience know they can trust you.

    Steel Divers average should go up when real gamers sink their teeth into it too.

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  2. Going by The Wall, western publishers will continue to be worthless as they always have on Nintendo systems. Not that I expected any different.

    Most Japanese third parties seem to be learning. Two Resident Evil games, and they’re not on-rails. No crummy spin-offs, no shoestring budget C-tier projects being paraded around as if they’re equal to their best efforts.

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  3. Ahahaha Ubisoft…By the end of this year they’ll still make up about half the wall…

    I really like what I’m seeing from Tecmo-Koei’s end, but you’re seeing 2/3 of their best franchises (just lacking Ninja Gaiden, which is coming someday). At least it’s nice of them to give us their very best of their franchises instead of just the garbage (which I’m sure will still come over)…

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  4. glad to have you guys on this one from the very start!
    It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out during the next few years, and whether or not having “real-time” feedback from the wall will help publishers steer their efforts in the right direction.

    gumby_trucker (aka n0body)

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  5. HAHAHA it begins. Great job guys!

    “Going by The Wall, western publishers will continue to be worthless as they always have on Nintendo systems. Not that I expected any different.”

    And as such, it will bit them in the ass later. Karma is such a bitch it’s wonderful.

    Like

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