“Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: Batch 1

Hey, Bill here.  I’ve been gone for a very…very long time for a number of issues including me becoming Dr. Bill, being out of town, and me just being a lazy bastard in general.  So hopefully now that things have stabilized a bit I’m hoping I can post more material.  One thing in particular I would like to do more of in the future is game “durpthroughs.”  Durpthroughs, because I don’t have the time, nor patience, nor attention span, to record footage for an entire play through a whole game.  Instead you’ll get random clips of me (and whoever is unlucky enough to play with me for co-op sessions) durping through whatever I feel like playing or showing off at the time, either due to me being impressed with how good the game is, or how bad it is. The first game I’m doing this with is Dead Island, which has already gotten plenty of bad press since its release over its terrible balancing, multitude of glitches, and it just not being a very polished game altogether.  I managed to trick Infernal into buying the game as well, and after a number of technical issues getting footage (including mic problems, audio woes, and hell, even just joining each other in-game), we finally managed to pull it together. So toss a bag of popcorn in the microwave, pop open a fresh can of legitimate cola, and watch as Infernal and myself stumble through and make fools of ourselves in Dead Island after the break.  Enjoy!

NOT A HYPERLINK HURRRRR!

Continue reading ““Durpthroughs” – Dead Island Co-op: Batch 1”

“Durp!” – David Cage: “I think I know what interactive entertainment is!”

There were so many stupid comments made recently that I really got overwhelmed and couldn’t do any of them.  Oh, and I blame that flop 3DS system thing.  Anyway, back to work!

Our latest “Durp!” comes from the mouth of David Cage, known for that Heavy Rain game that is a disgrace to the ADV genre.

“Look at Call Of Duty. How many copies does it sell every year? I’m fine with that. It’s cool. I’m just saying that I’m not happy with an industry that is entirely limited to experiences where all you are doing is shooting. That’s my problem. There is much more we can do with interactivity than just killing people.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with that quote?  He’s defending videogames!”

Oh, yes, he’s defending videogames, but let’s look at one line in particular…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – David Cage: “I think I know what interactive entertainment is!””

Radiant Historia – DS RPG of the Year!

Yes, even after playing the game for not much more than a few hours, it’s still plain to see that this is most definitely the DS RPG of the Year.  Though, I guess that’s not saying much considering the only other RPG is Pokemans, is it? (and as if anyone is going to buy that rehashed flop, am I right?)

This is Radiant Historia, an RPG I’m sure most of you have never even heard of, and are probably thinking I just made up off the top of my head.  That’s where I tell you it’s by Atlus and you realize that’s why you’ve never heard of it and probably will never actually find the game in the wild unless you are actually looking for it, and even then it’s harder than finding dat shiny Charizard you’ve always lusted for…

Continue reading “Radiant Historia – DS RPG of the Year!”

“Durp!” – David Jaffe: [Insert not-so-classy comparison here]

Hello, and welcome to another edition of “Durp!”  This time we cover our favorite developer (to make fun of), David Jaffe.  With the NGP announced, surely he’s had time to come up with some sort of riveting, yet orthodox, opinion on the “Next Generation Portable” (that happens to just do things that current systems already do, but worse), right?  No.  No he has not.

So let’s make this a little game.  Can you guess what David Jaffe compared the NGP to?  CAN YOU POSSIBLY GUESS?

Continue reading ““Durp!” – David Jaffe: [Insert not-so-classy comparison here]”

“Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!”

Welcome to “Durp!”, a feature based around what there is far too much of: members of the gaming industry making completely and utterly retarded and/or unsubstantiated comments that make those with even the most minute amount of common sense or respect for gaming cringe in disgust.

And we’re going to start this with an absolute doozy from Capcom Interactive’s (a subsidiary of Capcom U.S.A. that produces mobile games) president and COO, Midori Yuasa…

Continue reading ““Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!””

The Reggie Zone: Part 1 – Reggie Miracles

Reggie has seen many things in the hours, days, weeks, and months of racing he has competed dominated in Mario Kart Wii.  Some of which induced glorious fits of laughter, some of which compelled fits of rage capable of punting unlucky souls into another dimension.  You will now travel into this dimension; a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind.  A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.  Next stop, the Reggie Zone!

Continue reading “The Reggie Zone: Part 1 – Reggie Miracles”

“Durp!” – “Epic Games”? Try EPIC FAIL

Epic Games’ CEO Mark Rein has been long known to have some unfathomable grudge against Nintendo for reasons unknown, most likely due to reasons surrounding Nintendo not buying their god-awful Unreal Engine license.  Late last year, Mark made a rather amusing comment when asked about Nintendo’s 3DS.

“It’s below our [minimum specifications], from what we can tell.  We don’t have a 3DS, so there’s no way for us to verify that.  Everything we’ve been led to believe is that it’s below our min-spec. You couldn’t do a game that looks like [Epic Citadel] on it, for example.”

It’s pretty amazing that Mark Rein, someone who has no technical knowledge whatsoever, has the ability to tell what they can and cannot do with the system without actually playing around with it.  Surely he must have some sort of basis behind this statement, right?

Continue reading ““Durp!” – “Epic Games”? Try EPIC FAIL”

Animal Crossing 3DS: A Thinly-Veiled Wish List of Never Happenings

Alright, quiz time!  Can you name a franchise that was suddenly demoted to the status of “casual game” when Ninty started winning and the term “kiddy” started going out of style?   I bet you can’t gu…Wait, where are you looking?  HEY, STOP CHEATING!

Yes, the answer is Animal Crossing.  The franchise no “hardcore gamer” ever had an issue with until the casual gaming plague hit the industry.

So those new to the franchise, or maybe gaming in general (don’t tell Mike if you are), Animal Crossing is one of Ninty’s top-selling franchises, introduced in Japan in 2001 for the Nintendo 64 under the title “Animal Forest.”  The game wasn’t released outside Japan until it was ported the next year to the GameCube.

The premise is simple.  You have moved to a village full of (SHOCK) animal villagers, and are set up in a home by the village’s thieving merchant, Tom Nook.  You are forced to do odd jobs and sell garbage in order to pay back the loan on your house, and as you earn more money can increase the size of your home (which you have to pay even more money for), all while collecting furniture and items to fill it with and show off to your friends.  There’s a little more to it than that, but if you care that much you can look it up yourself you lazy bums!

Due to the profitability of the franchise, it surprised exactly zero people that Ninty revealed Animal Crossing alongside the 3DS.  It also didn’t exactly wow anyone either, due to franchise issues that delve much deeper than whether or not the franchise is casual or not.  This, of course, being the fact that there have been minimal changes to the base game over the three released installments.  So is there anything worthwhile about this new installment?   Anything at ALL?

Continue reading “Animal Crossing 3DS: A Thinly-Veiled Wish List of Never Happenings”

How much Reggie can you fit into a kart? THIIIIIIIIIIIS MUCH! (not to scale)

Have you wondered what Reggie does in his spare time when he’s not off kicking ass and taking names?  He’s off playing that kiddy Mario Kart Wii game and mugging himself into every possible shot of the action!  Here are just a select few of these sightings…

Reggie gives other racers a generous head-start while he mugs for the camera.

Reggie forgets his list of names, and pulls a sharp 180 in the middle of the race to go back and get it…

Reggie makes sure the camera is watching as he takes a tight drift without even looking at the road.

Reggie shows off his wheelie doom-kart abilities.  Why?  Because HE CAN.  BUT! (PLOT TWIST) Continue reading “How much Reggie can you fit into a kart? THIIIIIIIIIIIS MUCH! (not to scale)”