limbo title screen

Originally released alongside Hydro Thunder Hurricane in 2010’s “-Insert hemispheric appropriate season- of Arcade”, Limbo would escape the bounds of Xbox Live Arcade and go on to become a darling of the indie gaming world, collecting accolades and praise, from critics and gamers alike, on every platform it was released on. But in an unusual twist, Limbo is set to become unavailable on a platform for the first time, as macOS will cut support for 32-bit applications when new update drops next month. On the eve of this gaming purgatory, let us look back on Limbo.

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Don Bradman Cricket 14 is everything I dreamed a cricket game could be

Despite being one of the most popular sports in the world, cricket has rarely been reproduced in anything resembling a fun video game. The last good cricket games I played were the Beam Software developed Super International Cricket (SNES) and its followups on PC. Since sport sims embraced the third dimension cricket games have floundered, with only Codemasters and EA sporadically contracting third string development teams to churn out buggy, unplayable affairs. This is a shame because the first time I played an N64, fresh off my experience with Super International Cricket, I imagined a three dimensional cricket game with a dynamic camera and footwork based shot selection. After almost twenty years, Big Ant Studios have realised my dream.


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Bioshock – Late to the Rapture

I’ve had this game for a couple of years and never thought about playing it. The box is bland, it’s an FPS, and muddy brown shooters do not excite me; almost all Xbox 360 shooters I’ve played have been terrible. Nothing personal against the game, but that’s how my shallow mind worked for the last few years. It was one of those “one day” games that really means “never” because I only play what excites me. What finally piqued my interest was a friend talking about this game as if it was more than a shooter. Could it be, a fun game on the shelf right in front of me? Lo and Behold, it’s fucking amazing. Bioshock is an extremely well crafted game with a heavy, purposeful atmosphere that actually makes the Unreal Engine seem legitimately titled. I beat the game a few days ago and I’m still thinking about it, it’s one of those games that sticks with you. While my head is still putting itself back together in the depths of Rapture, allow me to drag you down with me and capture the essence of Bioshock like a true artist.


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“I like my new WiiU, but I won’t make games for it!”

It has been a few weeks since the WiiU launched, and I am loving it. Miiverse is amazing, ZombiU is amazing and New Super Mario Bros U is pretty close to topping Super Mario Bros. 3 is terms of being my favourite side-scrolling Mario game. While the game journalism side has already been torn apart by Grubdog, its time for me to tear apart the other BS part: the third parties. Continue reading ““I like my new WiiU, but I won’t make games for it!””

NiGHTS into dreams HD: Simple game, stupid analog mess up, short review

Ladies and gentlemen, I have or had a problem. I kept thinking to myself, “What game should I review for Pietriots since I want to be my unprofessional self rather then an in-depth reviewer?” Well SEGA decided to give me an answer in the form of an extremely fun Saturn classic given an HD re-release… actually, scratch that; an extremely fun Saturn classic given what was originally a PS2 make-over, never released outside of Japan for almost six years but then deciding since they have no money left to fund anything just upscale the damn game. Continue reading “NiGHTS into dreams HD: Simple game, stupid analog mess up, short review”

Resident Evil 6 – Demo Impressions

It’s here at last, and you can play it on your Xbox 360 now if you bought Dragon’s Dogma; or with some (legal) USB trickery if you’re too cool to buy games.

Like many fans of the series, I feared Resident Evil had turned into a generic action game and lost it’s campy survival horror charm; but thankfully I can put those fears to rest now after playing Resident Evil 6. This is definitely a horror game. In fact it’s so scary that the screen itself has become a monster! Right from the first cutscene I was horrified as my TV began eating itself. The cameras in this game have been infected with the T-Virus, and the effect is very convincing; every few seconds the top half of the screen falls onto the bottom half and then quickly collects itself, creating a smudge effect. Like popcorn being thrown up at the movies, this definitely adds to the experience and makes you feel like you could be eaten by zombies behind the camera at any time.

unofficial gameplay screenshot

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Alan Wake – Nightmare Revisited

Alan Wake is an enchanting game. When I first played through it on normal difficulty I poked fun at it a lot. The campy setting, repetitive gameplay, awkward animations, and silly concepts were all easy targets for ridicule; yet I still played through all the way to the end. The environments really captured me in their detail, and I was immersed in the bizarre world surrounding the small town of Bright Falls. I was fascinated with the game, but not in love with it. The journey looked and sounded wonderful, but it wasn’t engaging. I reluctantly plodded through the flat gameplay to experience the wonderfully crafted story.

I still had an empty feeling about the game, despite exploring every inch. Long after I completed it I still thought about it, and it became a much bigger force in my mind. At the time, I knew I didn’t really enjoy it a whole lot, but that didn’t stop me from having pleasant thoughts and memories of the game every time my eyes caught the box in my collection. The whole concept of the game was romanticised in my head and it took on something bigger than it was. It was eating at me. Finally I decided; why not? Despite a large backlog of games I haven’t even started yet, I started Alan Wake up again; this time on Nightmare difficulty. Maybe the gameplay was better than I remember? I had to clear this empty space in my mind.

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Joy Ride Turbo – Now With Buttons!

A few years ago, Joy Ride Kinect was released as an example of how a racing game could benefit from Kinect controls. The game was a broken mess, to the point where you could win races without even moving. The developers have finally admitted this was a bad idea, and they’ve re-released the game with new “precision controls” (exact words used in the PR) using the normal Xbox 360 control pad. Joy Ride is finally playable in the form of Joy Ride Turbo, but what’s it like? Was there a nice personality hidden behind that awful piece of technology?

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Just Cause 2 – A Man’s Game

THIS GAME IS SO GOOD. I’ve been playing it a lot and enjoying every second; but until now haven’t been able to pinpoint WHY it’s so good. Sure it’s got amazing graphics and a better draw distance than even Xenoblade Chronicles, but there’s something else that sets this game apart from all other open world games. It makes me feel LIKE A MAN. IT MAKES ME WANT TO YELL SHIT AND TYPE IN CAPS. It taps into my male primal urges to dominate the land. All I’m doing in Just Cause 2 is finding new areas and blowing stuff up until I get a big fat 100% “Settlement Complete” medal. What now? Next area. Find some packages, blow stuff up, “Settlement Complete”. Next area. The game is so MASSIVE that I can do this and nothing else. Your influence increases the more chaos you cause; the game REWARDS you for running into an area and beating your chest.

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Fallout 3 – Class of 2077 (Journal)


Right through the head. The shot echoed through the wasteland, no doubt perking the ears of every creature for miles. It’s not the kind of sound you’d go running towards though, is it? Whatever, anyone in the area would just think it was raiders. How many more could there be? I had enough ammo to make the answer to that question “zero”. This school is mine.

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Forza vs Gran Turismo, which is better?

Ah, the age old question. It’s a debate that’s raged on over the internet gaming community for the past decade or so. Gran Turismo has dazzled people over the years with its fantastic presentation, wealth of options and satisfying career mode. Forza has emerged with improved driving physics and community aspects, and now thanks to Kinect support you can move your head in your living room to look around realistically inside your TV. If only there was some kind of “joystick” device for such a feature, maybe in the future. Nevertheless, both Forza and Gran Turismo have a lot to offer. For someone looking for a true racing experience, which one is the best bet?

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Battlefield 3

Battlefield 3 is a fucking disgrace and a monument to everything fucked up about gaming in 2011.

So let’s start this by talking about the user experience. You load up Origin, EA’s malvolent store slash game launcher client thing that is not Steam and it has some validation thing that takes way too long. Then you click on Battlefield 3 and it runs another validation thing to make sure you don’t live in the future; once it confirms that you don’t, you can load the game. Except that Battlefield then doesn’t load the game – instead it opts to fire up your web browser and takes you to a website EA calls the Battlelog, some people have called it Facebook For Murderers, others ‘one of the worst ideas in video game history’. Your web browser will be as unprepared as you for Battlelog, forcing you to install two plugins for your web browser to continue. Now so far in this review I’ve talked about what you do when you first play Battlefield 3; I’m going to talk about what I did for a moment: At this point in the process I turned to my one, solitary friend on Origin, who was playing Battlefield 3 at the time, and complained about the validation shit. I said, “all I want to do is shoot cunts!” He laughed and responded with “I hope you like dying.” Now at the time I thought this was just him shit-talking my gaming skills, but in reality it was an ominous warning of what was to come. Battlefield 3 is a game about dying. Continue reading “Battlefield 3”

A True Watershed Moment in Digital Entertainment

Hold onto your arseholes everyone because the latest sales figures are out and there’s one headline that will dominate global news, pushing Wall Street protests and Bangkok floods off the front pages. Are you ready?

Forza Motorsport 4 had the biggest opening sales week of ALL TIME!
… in the UK
… for an Xbox 360 exclusive
… that’s about racing…
It really is an incredible achievement to almost sell as many copies as Just Dance 3 and I imagine this day for forever forth be known as F4 day.

This startling statistical analysis comes from GfK’s UK website ChartTrack. I’ll be refreshing their page everyday from now until November to see if Skyward Sword can be the best selling Wii game released in Q4, or if Skyrim claims the title of most purchased Elder Scrolls game.