Stuck in the Middle

There’s quite a lot of discussion on the internet in the past few days concerning the censorship of video games, pressure from so-called “Social Justice Warriors,” and pressure from so-called “GamerGaters.” The crux of this discussion appears to center around the latest installment of the Fire Emblem series, Fire Emblem: Fates, although there has been other recent controversies concerning games like Dead or Alive Extreme 3 and Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water.

Concerning Fire Emblem: Fates, a subquest involving a character named Soleil, who seems to be a female of a bisexual orientation (1 of 3 possible for humans, at least before Tumblr existed), could be romanced by an avatar character of the player’s design. The context of this romance appears to be that Soleil seems to get weak-kneed around cute girls of her type, which lessens her effectiveness in war and impedes her quest to become “smooth,” in her (fan translated at this point) words. The player character concocts a magic potion that makes the imbiber see people in opposite genders (1 of 2, at least before… oh, I already did that joke…) causing Soleil to see people in the opposite gender that they are. This medicine is supplied to Soleil in clandestine means, which to say, her drink was spiked. Hilarious hijinks ensue. This is obviously squarely in 90’s sitcom territory, or something out of the romantic comedy manga Ranma 1/2. The outcome is comical, and at the end the misadventure allows the player avatar to get closer to Soleil and say that she finds interacting with the player character “fun,” regardless of the unawareness of her medication. Who could possibly object?

Soleil
The face that launched a thousand tweets.

Continue reading “Stuck in the Middle”

Phantom Hourglass HD Edition – Sailing the 192p Seas

WAHOOOO!! With a well-timed jump over an Octorok spike trap, Phantom Hourglass has landed on the Wii U Virtual Console in Europe and Australia. Unfortunately it has not made its way to America yet, but I’m sure the fog will lift soon. There’s a lot of baddies out on the ocean so you have to plot a course carefully. Let’s get to the point, a DS game on Wii U, what is this madness? Linebeck hid in the corner, he was scared of this new experience. How do two screens work on the TV? Is it functional? Could it be amazing? I’ve just completed the game and yes, it’s pretty fucken playable. I had an absolute blast with the ship’s cannon, ahahahaha. Linebeck told me that joke I swear. The game is pretty good too. This writeup is going to explain how DS games play on Wii U, and why Phantom Hourglass itself is special.

To the SHIP!!

zeldaphlinebeck

Continue reading “Phantom Hourglass HD Edition – Sailing the 192p Seas”

Twilight Princess – I’m A Wolf Now

ARROOOOOO!! This game has jumped into the spotlight with the recently announced Twilight Princess HD for Wii U so I thought it was a good time for a writeup. I started replaying this on a whim a few weeks ago and have become completely absorbed in its world. Being such a gigantic game, I haven’t done a playthrough since the Wii launch, but I was delighted to discover the game is much better than how I remember it. It’s huge and sometimes slow, but never boring. It’s such a wonderful game. Rather than being an intimidating “time sink” game, it’s been a special part of my day as I’ve slowly rediscovered this enchanting world at my own pace. The land is populated with beautiful, innocent life, but is also threatened by a dark curse. This contrast creates a sense of mystery and urgency that makes even basic travel interesting, and had my mindset permanently engaged and interested all the way to the end of the game. This writeup isn’t a traditional review, I’m going to talk a LOT about the story so it’ll be filled with spoilers, so just don’t read if you haven’t played the game. Or maybe you’re just a free spirit who doesn’t mind spoilers so go for it. I think life is too short to experience everything perfectly. Sometimes you just have to let loose and read a blog post. Like Pietriots, Twilight Princess is rich in surprises and variety and I had so much fun rediscovering all the themes and gameplay elements.

zeldatpintro

Continue reading “Twilight Princess – I’m A Wolf Now”

Tri Force Heroes – Demo Impressions!!

Nintendo’s been distributing *HELLO* demo codes for The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes on 3DS and *HELLO* I’ve been lucky enough to get my hands on some from Nintendo Australia. I say lucky because their *HELLO* email system is shitty and unreliable, and these are seemingly distributed randomly. With the death of Club Nintendo it seems they’ve finally fixed their database and I got my first *HELLO* email from them in months. Anyway, I’m needed in the Drablands!! *LET’S GO!*

triforksheroes

Continue reading “Tri Force Heroes – Demo Impressions!!”

Majora’s Mask 3D – The Legend of Clock Town

majoradawn1day

Good morning everyone. Looks like we’re in for another lovely day as the sun spreads it’s colourful rays over the hills and under the clouds. Everyone’s up bright and early to make the most of it. Workers are preparing for the Carnival, shops are set up to rake in the rupees, dogs are barking, kids are playing, and the Postman trots along in a sweat, already struggling to keep up with the day’s letters. I’d expect nothing less in Clock Town, the busiest place in the world. With a staggering population of 26 there is always something going on here. The Mayor is being indecisive as always, while the soldiers and council workers go about their usual debate routine. I’m excited for the big fireworks in 3 days, but there’s a hint of doubt in the air. The soldiers are saying it’s too dangerous and there’s talk of workers slacking off, even leaving. Some even say the moon will fall. Pessimists, I say. Great excuse to get out of work. All the doom and gloom is mostly coming from the soldiers, all they do is stand there all day. The councilmen are determined to put on a good show, or all their hard work will have gone to waste. Just the usual bickering. The moon does look big and nasty, but it’s so far away right? Even though it’s harmless I can’t help but stare at it.

Continue reading “Majora’s Mask 3D – The Legend of Clock Town”

Game Journalists Are Not Covering Videogames

Videogame banter used to be simple. Whether it was opinions on a game or straight console war shitfights, people said what they were thinking. Xbox is a poorly made piece of shit. GameCube is a purple lunch box for babies. Playstation games are ugly like your Mum. Now days, you get banned for that kind of stuff on forums and that’s fair enough. It’s never nice to insult people or trash talk for the sake of it. However I’m beginning to feel the landscape of passive-aggressive assumptions we have now is even more toxic. There’s this illusion that things are more “civilised” in the gaming community, created by ever growing concern for social issues and a set of universal standards games are being judged on. As a result of this social narrative becoming popular and generating clicks, every game coming out is being judged by the same set of rules, regardless of whether or not it makes sense in the game’s own context as a playable videogame.

igntriforceofbullshit

Continue reading “Game Journalists Are Not Covering Videogames”

Zelda: A Link Between HD and 3D Worlds – Hands On Impressions From PAX

Zelda was playable in two forms at PAX Australia, Wind Waker HD on Wii U and A Link Between Worlds on 3DS. Both games had their own surprises in store that had to be felt in person to believe. Zelda 3DS impressed me with its graphics and Wind Waker HD impressed me with the controls. Did I get that the wrong way around? While Link’s butt does look fantastic in HD, there’s more to it!

linksbuttinHD

Continue reading “Zelda: A Link Between HD and 3D Worlds – Hands On Impressions From PAX”

The Wind Waker – Sailing The Forgotten Seas

We’ve all heard the announcement by now, Wind Waker is being completely remade for Wii U. The seas aren’t exactly forgotten, but I had a different motive for this article. The Zelda Symphony hits Sydney this weekend and I’ve been playing Zelda games in frothing anticipation, namely The Wind Waker which I just finished an entire playthrough of. I’m so glad I did because it’s every bit as amazing as I remember, it was the great gaming cleanse I needed. When Nintendo made the announcement of the remake I almost shat my pants because I was playing Wind Waker a few hours before the conference and hadn’t even thought about the idea of a remake. The game is pretty much perfect already in my eyes. My last playthrough was in 2005 according to my save file, and playing it now allowed me to enjoy it with a different perspective.

grandmaperspective

Continue reading “The Wind Waker – Sailing The Forgotten Seas”

Brain In A Jar confirms game, possible Wii U game, possibly Zelda

Brain In A Jar, acclaimed developers of Kart Racer and GP Classic Racing have just finished making a new game for Nintendo. They recently updated their Twitter and Facebook with this giant tease.

“We are getting our latest game ready for submission to Nintendo. This involves a LOT of testing and fixing bugs to ensure we have a good ‘master candidate’ to send.”

Continue reading “Brain In A Jar confirms game, possible Wii U game, possibly Zelda”

Musings on Female Characters, Or Why Is The Western Game Character Menagerie Such A Sausage Party?

It wouldn’t be unfair to say that Metroid: Other M got a mixed reception, tilted heavy in favor of it being a good game. Which is to say, that people can agree that the game is solidly built, a great throwback to the 2D games, and stylistically presented. In fact the only real “weakness” noted by reviewers and angry internet users alike is the story, and more particularly, its depiction of Samus as “sexist.”

The reason I put “sexist” in quotes is not because I deny sexism exists, but because I heavily question the source of the accusations’ sincerity.  Most of the comments center on the developing studio, Team Ninja, the director from Nintendo, Yoshio Sakamoto, and their country of origin, Japan for being “misogynist” when it came to designing Samus and the storyline of the game. Whether it’s sexist or not is up for debate, but why the inclusion of Japan as a factor?

Continue reading “Musings on Female Characters, Or Why Is The Western Game Character Menagerie Such A Sausage Party?”

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Here we go, another Zelda game; puzzles, bosses, exploring, fighting. You know the drill. Or do you? I never intended to review Skyward Sword, because I thought everyone would buy it and love the shit out of it and we’d all happily talk about our favourite parts and hold hands. Much to my disgust and surprise as I scan the twitterverse and look at sales trends, it seems gamers have let this one slip away. With some time and perspective now I can see why. A lot of games these days make you think, and Skyward Sword does that. The difference here though is that you also have to act.

Skyward Sword is a weird game. It’s lazy and closed off; it won’t play itself. If you want to get anywhere, you have to pick up the controller and ENGAGE. It’s the concept that started video games, and it’s the only reason they ever existed. If you want anything in this game to respond, you have to poke it. Skyward Sword is a naive attempt to put the focus on the actions of the player, and it completely tears apart the passive nature of recent blockbuster games like Skyrim and Mass Effect. Zelda is an AWAKENING. Skyward Sword will have you feel like you’re actually CLIMBING things, and actually wielding a sword. It all comes together thanks to the MotionPlus controller, and it WORKS!

Continue reading “The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword”

Kid Icarus: Flaccid Uprising

This game is going to flop, and it’s your fault. Nintendo knows Kid Icarus: Uprising will be a tough sell, and they’ve already started a heavy advertising campaign for the game – spanning several trailers, 8 page magazine articles, hundreds of screenshots, and multiple Twitter accounts. It took the spotlight in the recent Nintendo Direct, with lengthy coverage explaining all the games features in great detail, and recently featured in Iwata Asks. There’s even going to be a special tournament event across America before the game launches, and it’s taking center stage at every event Nintendo shows up to. Why is it so important this game does well? The team developing Kid Icarus: Uprising have put the new Super Smash Bros. on hold to make this – that’s why.

Sora are pouring their heart and soul into every aspect of this game. Originally speculated as a launch game for 3DS, it’s now been over a year since the systems launch and Kid Icarus: Uprising is finally ready. It’s got an arse load of stages, a STUPID amount of custom weapons and items, and every mode under the sun including online multiplayer, StreetPass and AR Card functionality. It even comes with a stand, just in case you feel slightly uncomfortable while playing it over long sessions. They have every angle covered, so why is this a recipe for disaster? What’s wrong with the game, if it’s going to be so awesome?

Continue reading “Kid Icarus: Flaccid Uprising”

PokePark – Sent to Die

Unfortunately, this article isn’t about the game itself. I’ve yet to play PokePark: Pikachu’s Adventure, because I can not justify why it is the most expensive game on Wii.

Still selling for $99.95 AU at my local EB Games, PokePark is not only more expensive than the full fledged proper Pokemon RPG main games, it’s even selling for a “premium” over new Wii games that are actually popular and good, like Skyward Sword and Donkey Kong Country Returns. These games regularly see discounts and promotions, because people actually buy them. PokePark does not have that appeal, thus stays $99 alongside Xenoblade Chronicles. To add further horror, PokePark is a standalone game with no hardware packed in, as has maintained the same price for almost two years. The same copy of PokePark has been sitting on the shelf in EB Games since the day it came out, untouched. Nintendo even had the balls to release an official strategy guide alongside the game, selling for $30. You can get full, quality Wii games for that price. Just how much depth can PokePark possibly have?

Continue reading “PokePark – Sent to Die”