I was about to goto bed but I made the mistake of clicking the header over at PixlBit after reading their review of satan’s resurrection. And there it was, breaking news, David Jaffe leaves the company he co-founded, sacking 20% of the staff as he walks out the door.
We’ve spoken about David Jaffe before on Pietriots. Specifically, the time he compared the PS Vita to a virgin vagina. After a while of following the guy around the internet like some deranged muck racking journalist, I was inspired to make the twitter account @FakeDavidJaffe to mock the guy. The truth is though, I just couldn’t compete with the real thing and was always two steps behind the man. I’d still be making fun of the fresh pussy comment and then the real David Jaffe would say people who don’t listen to rap music are racist. Or I’d find an old interview of him where he stops talking about his latest Twisted Metal game to directly address his internet critics and what they think of them. Then there’s his blog which is borderline unreadable due to his lack of traditional English grammar and total disregard for proof reading. In short, David Jaffe is a man without a filter.
Now, usually I actually admire that. I like a straight talker who’s not afraid to say what he thinks and will clearly state his views when asked. Some people call this arrogance but I like to think of it as being self assured and confident. It’s the kind of attitude a successful, talented person might have. How David Jaffe gained this aura though is a complete mystery. The guy is a hack. He is a talentless, self serving hack who’s never come up with a good idea. Here’s the David Jaffe resumé.
- Twisted Metal
- Twisted Metal 2
- Twisted Metal 3
- Twisted Metal 4
- Twisted Metal Black
- Twisted Metal Small Brawl
- Twisted Metal Head On
- Calling All Cars
- Twisted Metal Head On: Extra Twisted Edition
- Twisted Metal (2012 Reboot)
For those of you who don’t know, Twisted Metal is a game where you drive a car around and shoot at other cars, featuring characters who look like rejects from a hypothetical Slipknot comic strip. It was published by Sony for the original Playstation back in 1995 a month after a game called Destruction Derby was released, where you drove a car around and crashed into other cars, instead of shooting them. Obviously it was the guns and the fact that nothing else was available for the PSX at the time that saw Twisted Metal become a nine game, 17-year-old franchise and Destruction Derby a failed IP with as many publishers as entries in the series. But just to re-iterate. David Jaffe has spent 17 years making a video game about crashing cars…
There is another game he made though: Calling All Cars. Around about the time Eat, Sleep, Pray was all the rage in the film and literary worlds, Jaffe co-founded a new company, Eat Sleep Play, showing his creativity extended even further than car chase movies. Of course he wanted to make another game about cars shooting each other, but he didn’t hold the licence to Twisted Metal so he named it after an Australian punk rock outfit. Jaffe broke new ground creatively with Calling All Cars, the game featuring video gaming’s first homosexual antagonist. Despite the fact that the game was basically Twisted Metal without the name, the game received the kind of reduced critical and commercial reception that comes in the gaming world when you don’t have the backing of a multinational conglomerate.
So anyway, after negotiating with Sony, Jaffe scored the license to make a Twisted Metal branded game again! Hooray! And after almost five years of painstaking development and after receiving a day one patch a month after Jaffe criticised games that ship unfinished, Jaffe has celebrated by walking out on the company and shooting the eight guys who stood between him and the door. Presumably, they were the eight who were familiar with PlayStation 3 hardware because Eat Sleep Play announced they’ll be focusing on mobile games from now on.
What a fucking cunt.
He’s on Twitter right now, just trying to calm down any fears that his next game will be ‘casual’, in case anyone thought he was going to branch out from his road rage shtick. He’s even audaciously begun recruiting for his new, unnamed gaming company. Shit yeah! Who could knock back the opportunity to make the next mobile game about throwing angry cars and piles of twisted metal! There’s only a one in five chance of losing your job when it’s done!