Uncategorized STUFF
Here’s a video of an optional mini-game in 3D Dot Game Heroes; beating it under 60 seconds is required if you want to get the Platinum medal for the game.
Normally I wouldn’t openly divulge any details regarding our tumble log’s (or whatever The Kids call the content under this domain name) traffic but something was up.
All the other sites beat me to the punch, too. Diablo III‘s servers have been overloaded since day one and no one can play. They’ve used up all the good jokes like how this should’ve been error 1, not 37. They’ve said the one about how we’re online, Blizzard are the ones offline, they’re breaking their own DRM. I understand that there is a queue now. Like you take a ticket and get in line to play Diablo. Are there scalpers too? Are people selling their place in line to play to the highest bidder? Maybe Blizzard should include that in game, just like the auction house. Oh shit, even that joke has been done already.
Here we have a lovely piece about one of the greatest games of the last decade, Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s an “amazing game” says the author, Chris Warcraft of GameInformer. It features an “epic storyline” with “engaging characters” and “fresh combat”.
However.
Continue reading “Why GameInformer Makes Me Want To Punch A Kitten”
Charles, here.
I have returned from my expedition to northern India, discovering new ingredients for tea and biscuits. Along the way, I stumbled across a fellow archaeologist and a young Chinese boy in search of “sacred stones,” but I firmly refused their invitation and explained they were “not my type.”
Unfortunately, this article isn’t about the game itself. I’ve yet to play PokePark: Pikachu’s Adventure, because I can not justify why it is the most expensive game on Wii.
Still selling for $99.95 AU at my local EB Games, PokePark is not only more expensive than the full fledged proper Pokemon RPG main games, it’s even selling for a “premium” over new Wii games that are actually popular and good, like Skyward Sword and Donkey Kong Country Returns. These games regularly see discounts and promotions, because people actually buy them. PokePark does not have that appeal, thus stays $99 alongside Xenoblade Chronicles. To add further horror, PokePark is a standalone game with no hardware packed in, as has maintained the same price for almost two years. The same copy of PokePark has been sitting on the shelf in EB Games since the day it came out, untouched. Nintendo even had the balls to release an official strategy guide alongside the game, selling for $30. You can get full, quality Wii games for that price. Just how much depth can PokePark possibly have?
I was about to goto bed but I made the mistake of clicking the header over at PixlBit after reading their review of satan’s resurrection. And there it was, breaking news, David Jaffe leaves the company he co-founded, sacking 20% of the staff as he walks out the door.
We’ve spoken about David Jaffe before on Pietriots. Specifically, the time he compared the PS Vita to a virgin vagina. After a while of following the guy around the internet like some deranged muck racking journalist, I was inspired to make the twitter account @FakeDavidJaffe to mock the guy. The truth is though, I just couldn’t compete with the real thing and was always two steps behind the man. I’d still be making fun of the fresh pussy comment and then the real David Jaffe would say people who don’t listen to rap music are racist. Or I’d find an old interview of him where he stops talking about his latest Twisted Metal game to directly address his internet critics and what they think of them. Then there’s his blog which is borderline unreadable due to his lack of traditional English grammar and total disregard for proof reading. In short, David Jaffe is a man without a filter.
We’re now live in HD. This is the future, except it’s already happened. Our new blue ocean strategy includes WIDESCREEN viewing for WIDE ASS sitting. Not only that, but we’re now playable in your hands with full 3D support. Welcome to Pietriots U, make yourselves at home and enjoy your stay! Here’s some Pullblox / Pushmo QR codes to start the day!
I just want to briefly talk bout the big headline in today’s news; that Kotaku commenters do not suck. And I would just like to defend Kotaku commenters, who are no worse than Kotaku itself. ie. Utterly deplorable.
It’s finally here! Today is a day like no other!-
This is a tale that you humans have told for
many ages, generation to generation…
But there are other legends, long hidden away from
memory, that are intertwined with this tale.
Now, a new legend bound to this great story
stands ready to be revealed.
About a month before suffering my Professional Engineer Exams at the end of October, I fired up Geist for the Nintendo SHEETKYUUB (actually, my Wii system) in an effort to update my aging, neglected GC video library. This recording session was the FIRST and ONLY time I played ANY “dual analog” shooter this entire generation (2006-2011). This experience was HORRIBLE. I kept tarding-out into walls like classic Resident Evil controls, and the screen was stiff and jerky while the camera dragged ass. And the enemies were kind enough to shoot me with 20-30 rifle rounds without killing me, sympathetic to your inability to be a real threat (impotence) given the limitations of the “traditional” input method.
From what I hear, today’s shooty games treat customers like children more than ever; probably because it’s the most appropriate thing to do.
Why do people keep playing like this after 10 years? (and keep paying for it?) Why are games still made this way? What’s wrong with this industry?
Luckily, the game’s first-person adventure (FPA) principles are still intact and meaningful after all these years.
Does anyone remember the former upcoming next-generation “possession mechanic” zombie action-strategy title, Possession? Nope, nobody.
Congrats, n-Space – despite the cruel passage of time, your masterpiece is still unrivaled.
View/Download:
Geist, 7 videos (DivX)
Definitely a “treat”.
THE ERECTION, IT DOES NOT CEASE. I want to dress her up like Rebecca Chambers / Lilith / Samantha Smith and exchange FRIEND CODES with her day and night throughout this Season of Mario.
We both like Super Mario Bros. – this is what brings us together.
Hold onto your arseholes everyone because the latest sales figures are out and there’s one headline that will dominate global news, pushing Wall Street protests and Bangkok floods off the front pages. Are you ready?
Forza Motorsport 4 had the biggest opening sales week of ALL TIME!
… in the UK
… for an Xbox 360 exclusive
… that’s about racing…
It really is an incredible achievement to almost sell as many copies as Just Dance 3 and I imagine this day for forever forth be known as F4 day.
This startling statistical analysis comes from GfK’s UK website ChartTrack. I’ll be refreshing their page everyday from now until November to see if Skyward Sword can be the best selling Wii game released in Q4, or if Skyrim claims the title of most purchased Elder Scrolls game.
Added a few gameplay videos from The Conduit to help complete our “Wiimote controls” non-guide.
Conduit/GoldenEye Wiimote Controls
Pietriots 