A few years ago, Joy Ride Kinect was released as an example of how a racing game could benefit from Kinect controls. The game was a broken mess, to the point where you could win races without even moving. The developers have finally admitted this was a bad idea, and they’ve re-released the game with new “precision controls” (exact words used in the PR) using the normal Xbox 360 control pad. Joy Ride is finally playable in the form of Joy Ride Turbo, but what’s it like? Was there a nice personality hidden behind that awful piece of technology?
The Next 5 Years: Naka’s Prediction
Greetings everyone, I am Yuji Naka and I have something to share with you all. This morning I woke up with a clear vision of the future. It was the first time in weeks I had a dream without my pal Sonic interrupting my fishing trip. It started this year and went all the way to the year 2017! Can you believe that? 5 years in a single night! I will have to talk to SEGA about making a new NiGHTs game with this concept. We always have great discussions when they catch me sneaking into my old office, hehe. Anyway, let me start with the year 2012, which I’m sure you all know well!
Achievements / Trophies are not harmless
Here’s a video of an optional mini-game in 3D Dot Game Heroes; beating it under 60 seconds is required if you want to get the Platinum medal for the game.
The video isn’t important, but take a gander at the comments underneath it! Quite a lot of people are upset.
Late to the PS3 party: LittleBigPunishment
Just over a week ago I finally bought a PS3 – there’s quite a few games on here I’ve been keen to play and Tales of Graces F was the pushing point, as well as my new Logitech G27 steering wheel that shamefully isn’t compatible with X360. I’ve been enjoying LittleBigPlanet so far; it’s a lot more fun than I expected. The physics aren’t horrible like I’ve read; it’s easy to adapt to, and the game has quite a bit of charm with some great music and pretty graphics.
It was all going fine until I foolishly plugged in my ethernet cable while the game was paused… THEN OPENED THE GATES OF HELL.
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We interrupt your irregularly scheduled Pietriotic update to bring you important news about Diablo III’s servers!
Normally I wouldn’t openly divulge any details regarding our tumble log’s (or whatever The Kids call the content under this domain name) traffic but something was up.
All the other sites beat me to the punch, too. Diablo III‘s servers have been overloaded since day one and no one can play. They’ve used up all the good jokes like how this should’ve been error 1, not 37. They’ve said the one about how we’re online, Blizzard are the ones offline, they’re breaking their own DRM. I understand that there is a queue now. Like you take a ticket and get in line to play Diablo. Are there scalpers too? Are people selling their place in line to play to the highest bidder? Maybe Blizzard should include that in game, just like the auction house. Oh shit, even that joke has been done already.
Fun! Fun! Mini Golf TOUCH!
It’s no secret that we, the staff of Pietriots, love Shin’en games. In fact, as part of staff recruitment you have to be sexually aroused by Martin Sauter to be allowed to write for us. I think the reason Martin and the rest of the staff at Shin’en remain so good looking is that none of them have ever actually played mini golf.
The Tragedy of Dynasty Warriors VS
It’s just been announced via Twitter that Dynasty Warriors VS will not be coming to 3DS outside Japan. There’s no reason given, however we do know that Dynasty Warriors VS didn’t do very well in Japan, selling a mere 10,000 copies in its first week despite the heralded appearance of Samus and Link as bonus characters. Who cares, right? The game bombed, why do we care? Doesn’t that justify no western release? Absolutely not, and here’s why I think Tecmo-Koei are blowing a good opportunity.
Sites I Like: Jaffe’s Game Design
Did you know that maverick game designer David Jaffe runs an incredible game design blog? I feel even talking about the insights and discourse Jaffe provides on his site would do a disservice to Jaffe and the incredible thoughts he conveys. So if you want to check out fascinating, in depth discussion of video game design, head over to http://jaffesgamedesign.blogspot.com.au/. I think he didn’t buy a URL to keep it underground and cool. Jaffe is such a rare talent that I decided to refer him for an amazing job I heard about. I’m sure he can do that while making another car crashing game.
Crash Car Racer (Wii)
YES! A budget racer on Wii, if there’s one genre I know well, it’s this one! I jumped for joy when I saw this game in Kmart, possibly scaring the lady at the counter. There was no sign of Zelda, Xenoblade, or The Last Story on the shelves, but sure enough: 20 copies of Crash Car Racer! It has to be good, right? At $15AU I had to find out.
The name Crash Car Racer does a pretty good job telling you what it is: a racing game with cars that crash. However, it’s not really ABOUT crashing, it’s just a normal racing game that happens to have completely broken physics, conducive to crashes. The disconnected car handling, poorly programmed AI, and bizarre tracks all combine to create a game that pretty much crashes itself every lap, no matter what you do.
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What Is Casual?
Casual, hardcore, non-gamer, casual-gamer. What do all these mean? What language am I speaking? If you’ve read any “insightful” feature articles on videogames in the past 5 years, you’ll know these terms pretty well. Let’s start with where these popular phrases originated, and how these words became “categories”.
“Durpthroughs” – Fatal Frame IV – Batch 4
After a long absence, I return with the next Durpthrough session of Fatal Frame IV!
Beware the narrow hallways that make fighting ghosts nearly impossible, the deathly fear of potential game-breaking bugs, the bewildering persistence of that nurse I can’t remember the name of, the REVENGENCE of Ayako as I storm her room for sheet music, the wheelchair lady who somehow pushes herself, and the terrifying black death thing that scares the living shit out of me!
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The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Here we go, another Zelda game; puzzles, bosses, exploring, fighting. You know the drill. Or do you? I never intended to review Skyward Sword, because I thought everyone would buy it and love the shit out of it and we’d all happily talk about our favourite parts and hold hands. Much to my disgust and surprise as I scan the twitterverse and look at sales trends, it seems gamers have let this one slip away. With some time and perspective now I can see why. A lot of games these days make you think, and Skyward Sword does that. The difference here though is that you also have to act.
Skyward Sword is a weird game. It’s lazy and closed off; it won’t play itself. If you want to get anywhere, you have to pick up the controller and ENGAGE. It’s the concept that started video games, and it’s the only reason they ever existed. If you want anything in this game to respond, you have to poke it. Skyward Sword is a naive attempt to put the focus on the actions of the player, and it completely tears apart the passive nature of recent blockbuster games like Skyrim and Mass Effect. Zelda is an AWAKENING. Skyward Sword will have you feel like you’re actually CLIMBING things, and actually wielding a sword. It all comes together thanks to the MotionPlus controller, and it WORKS!
Why GameInformer Makes Me Want To Punch A Kitten
Here we have a lovely piece about one of the greatest games of the last decade, Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s an “amazing game” says the author, Chris Warcraft of GameInformer. It features an “epic storyline” with “engaging characters” and “fresh combat”.
However.
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F***heads – Fanboy Colors
Growth and Expansion
Charles, here.
I have returned from my expedition to northern India, discovering new ingredients for tea and biscuits. Along the way, I stumbled across a fellow archaeologist and a young Chinese boy in search of “sacred stones,” but I firmly refused their invitation and explained they were “not my type.”
Pietriots 