Yesterday I took us through the dreadful hockey component of Mario Sports Mix, today I played all the way through the game’s basketball campaign, which is probably a sign that it is slightly better quality than hockey. What is not better though are the ‘screenshots’ of me taking photos of the screen with the worst digital camera on the market (iPhone 3Gs). After receiving positive feedback on yesterday’s shots for their clarity and resolution, today I present you with this:
Hello, and welcome to another edition of “Durp!” This time we cover our favorite developer (to make fun of), David Jaffe. With the NGP announced, surely he’s had time to come up with some sort of riveting, yet orthodox, opinion on the “Next Generation Portable” (that happens to just do things that current systems already do, but worse), right? No. No he has not.
So let’s make this a little game. Can you guess what David Jaffe compared the NGP to? CAN YOU POSSIBLY GUESS?
Continue reading ““Durp!” – David Jaffe: [Insert not-so-classy comparison here]”
So being the (field) hockey superstar that I am, when I jammed the Mario Mix disc into my Wii’s slot I went straight to Hockey. Over the next 4 days I’ll try out the other sports and give impressions of them but all I’ll say right now is that if the rest of the game is anything like hockey, then Mario Sports Mix has forever ruined Mario’s good sportsman-like reputation. Since I know some of you don’t click the ‘continue reading’ button on our site, this picture which I’ll leave on the frontpage shows everything wrong with hockey in Mario Sports Mix. The photo was taken on my iPhone because that’s the only image quality you weak scumbags deserve.
*BOOM*
Grubdog awoke to a loud explosion. The sound buzzed in his ears as he put his hands up to cover them. What was going on? An earthquake? The sound faded, and he looked around to gather his bearings.
Grubdog: “Where the heck am I?”
Friend Codes are a controversial online schematic that can mildly be described as cumbersome. The IDEA behind Friend Codes is a good one, but the execution of this idea has until recently been poorly lacking.
However, with the announcement of the universality of Friend Codes for the 3DS, the Friend Code system rises from unwieldy to a viable alternative that’s even superior in many ways to alternate online systems.
A lot of people wet their pants when they heard the eShop (worst name ever) would not be ready for the 3DS launch in Japan or America. I know I wet my pants and it was super embarrassing because I was riding public transport when I found out. I’ve driven 300km to a small fishing community to do some soul searching on the whole issue. Last night I found myself at the local watering hole, and over a pint I told a local about the problem and why I had to escape the city. The 47 year old enstranged father of 3 tells me “Fucken who cares? The iPhone didn’t have an App Store at release in America either.” I nodded and we went our separate ways.
It’s all going to be ok. 🙂
Nintendo are in a state of fear, the complete destruction of Nintendo DS last year at the hands of PSP has backed Nintendo into a corner. PSP was the highest selling system of 2010, and also had the highest selling Monster Hunter game. The overwhelming presence of iPhone and the looming danger of the mighty Playstation Phone now have Nintendo scrambling around hopelessly in the dark. Nintendo crapped their pants, and 3DS is what came out. This mere evolution of DS, with it’s ridiculous gimmick attached, will be completely forgotten by the end of the year, and here’s why.
Hot Wheels. Hell yeah. The joy of pushing a toy car around isn’t something a videogame can ever capture, but it can come close! Being a licensed game, it’s easy to be skeptical of this. Thankfully, rather than trying to make a quick buck, Firebrand, developers of Trackmania Wii, have put together a great Hot Wheels package here. Track Attack has a good variety of content, with 5 game modes, a track editor and 4 player split screen, there’s some fun to be had.
Welcome to “Durp!”, a feature based around what there is far too much of: members of the gaming industry making completely and utterly retarded and/or unsubstantiated comments that make those with even the most minute amount of common sense or respect for gaming cringe in disgust.
And we’re going to start this with an absolute doozy from Capcom Interactive’s (a subsidiary of Capcom U.S.A. that produces mobile games) president and COO, Midori Yuasa…
Continue reading ““Durp!” – Capcom: “Durrr, no one plays handhelds anymore!””
Note: These control settings were personalized for my bloated widescreen (16:9) TV that I sit fairly close to. You may get undesirable results if you use these settings on a fullscreen (4:3) TV setup, or if your Wii’s cursor behavior is already unstable due to poor sensor bar visibility, specific lighting conditions in your room, and/or your seating distance and position. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare – Reflex Edition is not a significant part of this discussion becuz the shoehorned FPS mechanics and single-player campaign are nonsense; it wasn’t worth the effort to customize the controls nor play past the tutorial stage. Call of what? Modern what? (Update: Conduit 2 controls here)
I’ve seen some player comments declaring the Wii “Pointer” controls in The Conduit and GoldenEye 007 are great or crap, or never getting them to feel “right” – ALL without adequately explaining why nor sharing their settings in detail as if it’s only a futile, individual effort they’re doomed to suffer (curse you, game! curse you, non-Nintendo developer!). What was the purpose of their interweb comments, their “discussion”? To WHINE? Yeah. To exchange ideas/info and support each other’s gaming experiences? HAH! Hell no.
So I have some info that’s useful to me and could be useful to others… =o
– The Conduit
(click to enlarge)
Handgun gameplay clips using the above settings – headshots preferred. Conduit handles it well; GoldenEye is just a trainwreck.
Reggie has seen many things in the hours, days, weeks, and months of racing he has competed dominated in Mario Kart Wii. Some of which induced glorious fits of laughter, some of which compelled fits of rage capable of punting unlucky souls into another dimension. You will now travel into this dimension; a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Reggie Zone!
Continue reading “The Reggie Zone: Part 1 – Reggie Miracles”
Speed is an extremely simple arcade racer for Wii, featuring fast cars and high speed explosions.
Epic Games’ CEO Mark Rein has been long known to have some unfathomable grudge against Nintendo for reasons unknown, most likely due to reasons surrounding Nintendo not buying their god-awful Unreal Engine license. Late last year, Mark made a rather amusing comment when asked about Nintendo’s 3DS.
“It’s below our [minimum specifications], from what we can tell. We don’t have a 3DS, so there’s no way for us to verify that. Everything we’ve been led to believe is that it’s below our min-spec. You couldn’t do a game that looks like [Epic Citadel] on it, for example.”
It’s pretty amazing that Mark Rein, someone who has no technical knowledge whatsoever, has the ability to tell what they can and cannot do with the system without actually playing around with it. Surely he must have some sort of basis behind this statement, right?
Pietriots 