Star Fox Zero – Flying Through The Bullshit

I played about 5 hours of Star Fox Zero today and I’m just so excited that I have to write out these impressions and clear up some things about this game immediately. There’s a lot of confusion going around about the controls and quite frankly, it’s all fucking bullshit. Game journalists spinning this propaganda are a bunch of IDIOTS who can not be trusted to form an opinion, let alone provide one to the masses. Kotaku, IGN, Polygon, the usual clusterfucks that everybody should know to avoid by now have all given this game bad reviews because it threatens their 2 dimensional way of thinking. It’s the same fucking bullshit ZombiU and The Wonderful 101 endured, they see this game as a threat because it’s another heavy hitter on the Wii U that threatens to take their normal games away. I want to throw that mindset in the bin and fucking burn it. There is room for every game to be beautiful. The controls in Star Fox Zero are outstanding, and this game is absolute quality.

starfoxflies

Continue reading “Star Fox Zero – Flying Through The Bullshit”

Super Metroid – Sub-Hour Speedrun

I’ve been getting into Super Metroid more after the 3DS release and set myself a personal goal of beating the game in under an hour. I’ve already done this with Metroid: Zero Mission and had a great time finding the fastest route. With Super Metroid I had done what “felt” like a speedrun, but it’s a different kind of speedrun to Zero Mission. A lot of tricks and skips in this game are very difficult and non-traditional. This is due to Samus’s movement being more complex, and a lot of open environments that don’t stop you from doing crazy things. My current best time was 1 hour 19 minutes, and on 3DS I managed to get 1 hour 27 minutes on a refresher course through the game. My main motivation came when I realised there was still a lot about the game I didn’t know. How do you shortcharge? What other items can I skip? Are there better ways to fight the bosses? Can I do the Zebetite Skip?

zebetitestruggle

Continue reading “Super Metroid – Sub-Hour Speedrun”

Speedrunning: An Amateur Perspective

Awesome Games Done Quick 2014 was my first exposure to the speedrunning community. I saw the hashtag trending on Twitter and wondered what all the fuss was about. Twitch? Streaming? Glitches? Kill The Animals? It was all a bit disturbing and alien. One night I decided to blindly tune in to the livestream, I can’t remember why but a game I was familiar with must have been trending. It’s quite a plunge sometimes to look into something you don’t understand, but I opened the stream and almost instantly I got it. A group of gamers in a room together doing what they do best, playing! I could hear that warm love for gaming in the commentary, I could see it in the intense gameplay, and I could feel it as the room got hyped for a good run. These are people who are only there because they play so much, and truly respect videogames to the point of dedicating their lives to them.

sunshinespeedfun

Continue reading “Speedrunning: An Amateur Perspective”

Achievement Unlocked – Tropical Freedom

Recently it has been discovered that Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze has an achievement system buried inside the game, something that was never implemented in the final release. The Cutting Room Floor dived into the game’s coding and retrieved this list of achievements from a file relating to the Miiverse. As someone who has played this game to death I found this very interesting, and I’ve done pretty much all of those on my own. However, I’m writing this article to emphasise how glad I am they were removed. I’ve spent 120 hours on this masterpiece so far and I never expected that coming in, but the game continually impresses and engages me with new layers of depth. Would I have embraced the game’s design so much if there was an anti-fun tracker hovering over the screen? Probably not.

tropicalachievement

Continue reading “Achievement Unlocked – Tropical Freedom”

Pokemon – The Competitive Conundrum

The past few Pokemon generations I’ve found myself thinking more about the journey and what was important to me in a Pokemon game. I still loved the games but something started fading away for me and I’ve finally been able to pinpoint exactly what it is. If you haven’t heard, a recent phenomenon called Twitch Plays Pokemon has emerged allowing people around the world to all play Pokemon at once with a rush of inputs in a text box. At its peak 100,000 people were all playing Pokemon Red together and we triumphantly beat the game over 17 days of anarchy and surprises. Catching Zapdos was a highlight for me as I was one of the people pressing A and scrolling down to the Master Ball, an unbelievable accomplishment to pull off. We all worked together and after much hard work, coordination, confusion, sacrifices and ledge jumps; Red became champion.

i_can_show_you_the_world_by_anneuh-d77y2u8

Continue reading “Pokemon – The Competitive Conundrum”

Pietriots Best Of Nintendo Wii!

Whelp, it’s already here. On November 18th, the Wii U ushered in a new generation of Nintendo hardware, and I’m very excited. Once again, we have a new controller that will deliver different experiences – but as we all know only niche developers and Nintendo will do something about it. Third parties? Haha don’t make me laugh, seriously.

Continue reading “Pietriots Best Of Nintendo Wii!”

Hey U – Give Me Real Controls

The Wii Remote & Nunchuk was last generation’s innovation in violence – still strong today, still better than the competition. This was the method of controlling the last true console Resident Evil experience the world would know: The Umbrella Chronicles.

For the previous console cycle, there’s a seldom-stated lesson Capcom briefly learned (see RE4:Wii) then immediately forgot (see their “HD” games): if you’re pretending to KILL in a video game, do it properly. It’s just a shame we don’t have to pretend anymore: modern games, such as Capcom’s premiere action series, have gotten so smart that they play themselves (step aside Super Guide). The games don’t hesitate to handle much of the excitement on their own, and work hard to convince us that quick-button-context-flashback-retrospection-cutscene was an artistic achievement (“Best QTE of 2012,” is there such a thing?). Opponents of violent gaming love to point out how video games “teach kids how to kill”, but I know that’s rubbish cuz most games suck at that, especially as more games suck at being games. It’s supposed to be like watching a movie, right? Why not an effing GAME? Thru these last couple generations of analog masturbation, popular shooters have more or less surpassed “REALISTIC EVERYTHING” – nevermind the gameplay. And in a (not really) fun twist, “more realism” cheerfully graduated to “more Hollywood”; new gameplay became movies that look like gameplay. “Wow, it’s like playing a game,” – thanks, my confidence in the new generation is at an all-time high.

Before proceeding, I want to be clear that the major ideas in the blocks of text below don’t necessarily apply to every genre or gameplay mechanic. Many of our favorites are derived from things like tennis, team sports, board games, gambling, mazes, vehicles, boxing puppets, and Donkey Kong – there’s no reason to mess with certain core elements. However, TANGIBLE VIRTUAL VIOLENCE has a raw, engrossing quality that the majority of the Industry has not been interested in embracing for some time; fluid human movements seek the spillage of human fluid, yet they insist gamers don’t like movement and just seek Mountain Dew. Trapped in the game industry’s electronic erection contest, the prestigious computing “arms race”, we continue enduring their fake war: fake gameplay and fake value. Cash and companies continue to perish in the high-priced struggle to show violence; rarely do we see genuine imagination towards playing violence. It doesn’t have to be this way; we can still search for decency. Aim off-screen and raise your real arms to rediscover what’s in front of you: the gameplay in your hands.

/wii joke

Continue reading “Hey U – Give Me Real Controls”