Here we have a lovely piece about one of the greatest games of the last decade, Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s an “amazing game” says the author, Chris Warcraft of GameInformer. It features an “epic storyline” with “engaging characters” and “fresh combat”.
However.
Continue reading “Why GameInformer Makes Me Want To Punch A Kitten”
With the successes of Double Fine’s unnamed adventure game and Wasteland 2, Kickstarter is the current darling of the independent gaming community and ‘crowdsourcing’ the hot new buzzword being thrown around by insufferable energetic web 2.0 conmen. Kickstarter hasn’t always been a success though, my favourite unfunded project being the criminals who developed Tony Hawk Ride failing to fund some marble madness clone they wanted to inflict on us. If only the same could be said about smug upstart Serellan’s lame sounding tactical shooter TAKEDOWN.
to be continued…
Before they cancelled Mega Man Legends 3, before they ignored Wii Pointer controls in Monster Hunter Tri, before they rewarded Resident Evil fans with rail shooters, before Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop could handle 6 zombies at once, before they announce Resident Evil: Revelations including the free Mercenaries HD for PS Vita launching simultaneously with the 3DS version (hi-ho 2012 release date) – Capcom presented… THE FIVE.
Never one to forget 3rd Party achievements, I put this little post together to help last generation’s players and this gen’s newcomers remember the pain for years to come. Actually, before rambling about the quintet’s history that everyone’s heard before, I want to bring attention to the titles as they were announced: by sharing nice-quality versions of their debut trailers (well, 4 out of 5 of them). If we’ll remember ANY of it, let’s at least see clean copies of them; one last face-to-face before closing the casket. I know you can search for the moldy Flash videos originating from Matt C.’s IGN, but try to have some respect for the departed. Those videos came from a time when magazine, internet, and even Nintendo’s own coverage made “good” GameCube games look crappy.
Tracking down known copies of these trailers a couple years ago took some time and $rupees$. My search was narrowed to a couple auctions for rare promo DVDs from Japan, eventually making some sellers very happy. In addition, I managed to gather almost all the promo videos for these games since their announcement. One last step (took forever), each video was processed piece by piece – deinterlacing, cropping out blank borders, scaling the frames for consistency – whenever reasonable, trying to help them look their best. It’s only these past couple months that I seriously sat down to finish converting this junk. When hobbies start to feel like work… I tend to avoid them. Recently feeling an urgent sense of justice, I could delay no more.
So here’s what I got: a few custom screencaps, my personal thoughts/description of each game at inconsistent degrees of relevance, and links to the DivX-formatted media on my homepage. But seriously, I went overboard, so don’t read all of it.
This first one up was the first one to go down…
It’s not from Nintendo. It’s not language barriers or translation issues. It’s not some greedy CEO who gets a hard-on from punishing people. It’s the gaming media, and so called “fans” who are threatening boycotts and trolling Wii just like they’ve been doing since 2006.
UPDATED AT THE BOTTOM!:
Stepping up to the plate today is Eurogamer’s Fred Dutton, perhaps best known for breaking the Earth shattering news that Dead or Alive: Dimensions made the Japanese sales charts, coughed up some extremely exciting news an hour ago. Fred Dutton revealed, through his sources of typing in a search on the ESRB website, the existence of a mysterious title known as ‘Zelda Universe’.
http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-05-26-what-is-zelda-universe
Holy shit! I immediately ran to Adium to tell Pro all about this incredible discovery. Pro was much more level headed and said it was just a website. I didn’t want to beleive him though and went back to my trusted Fred Dutton for clues to Zelda’s Universe
Given its title and that small collection of facts, an online Zelda MMO is the obvious guess, but that seems highly unlikely given Nintendo’s attitude to both online play and developing games for platforms other than its own.
Guarded speculation! He makes a bold claim but then quickly backs away saying it’s unlikely. Fred goes on:
Zelda Universe is the name of the franchise’s official website, but then the ESRB doesn’t rate web content. Some kind of game embedded in the site then? Again, that doesn’t really some like something Nintendo would do.
And then it all came flooding back to me. Ten years ago I played a game on the Zelda website.
Look there’s the little ESRB rating and everything! E: VIOLENCE! Everyone can be violent! Does anyone else remember this? This game? Here’s a reminder.
There’s some controversy surrounding a first party Nintendo title. We will refer to it as “Mario Kart Wii“. Since “gamers” have been reacting strongly to it, let’s summarize what they’re talking about.
http://www.joystiq.com/2011/03/09/playing-ds-on-a-3ds-is-less-than-ideal/
That’s what this is. The guy somehow finds a way to complain about a feature that’s been implemented to the very extent it can be. 3DS and DS have different screen sizes, and different resolutions. The 3DS is not a DS. SO therefore, DS games can be played on 3DS either -STRETCHED- to fill the screen, or in their original resolution with some empty screen space. Nintendo GAVE US BOTH OPTIONS. There is nothing more they could do other than to physically shrink the screens through vudu magic whenever we press a button. Not only this, but 3DS lets you,
1) Use the new analog nub on original DS games
2) Tracks DS game playtime through the Activity Log
If anything, it’s a BETTER way to play DS games. Yet, this article complains and spins it into a bad thing, by IGNORING the positives, and posting something that isn’t even a negative, without explaining why it’s a negative.
“It’s not great”
“WHY”
“It’s just not”
Shit article.
Hello, and welcome to another edition of “Durp!” This time we cover our favorite developer (to make fun of), David Jaffe. With the NGP announced, surely he’s had time to come up with some sort of riveting, yet orthodox, opinion on the “Next Generation Portable” (that happens to just do things that current systems already do, but worse), right? No. No he has not.
So let’s make this a little game. Can you guess what David Jaffe compared the NGP to? CAN YOU POSSIBLY GUESS?
Continue reading ““Durp!” – David Jaffe: [Insert not-so-classy comparison here]”
So being the (field) hockey superstar that I am, when I jammed the Mario Mix disc into my Wii’s slot I went straight to Hockey. Over the next 4 days I’ll try out the other sports and give impressions of them but all I’ll say right now is that if the rest of the game is anything like hockey, then Mario Sports Mix has forever ruined Mario’s good sportsman-like reputation. Since I know some of you don’t click the ‘continue reading’ button on our site, this picture which I’ll leave on the frontpage shows everything wrong with hockey in Mario Sports Mix. The photo was taken on my iPhone because that’s the only image quality you weak scumbags deserve.
Friend Codes are a controversial online schematic that can mildly be described as cumbersome. The IDEA behind Friend Codes is a good one, but the execution of this idea has until recently been poorly lacking.
However, with the announcement of the universality of Friend Codes for the 3DS, the Friend Code system rises from unwieldy to a viable alternative that’s even superior in many ways to alternate online systems.
A lot of people wet their pants when they heard the eShop (worst name ever) would not be ready for the 3DS launch in Japan or America. I know I wet my pants and it was super embarrassing because I was riding public transport when I found out. I’ve driven 300km to a small fishing community to do some soul searching on the whole issue. Last night I found myself at the local watering hole, and over a pint I told a local about the problem and why I had to escape the city. The 47 year old enstranged father of 3 tells me “Fucken who cares? The iPhone didn’t have an App Store at release in America either.” I nodded and we went our separate ways.
It’s all going to be ok. 🙂
Ever wonder how to remove those stubborn stickers? Got a scratch or spill on your box you want to remove? Concerned how some of your game boxes look? Read on to find out what to do.
Pietriots 