Tag: Vita

Thomas Was Alone – Are You?

Grubdog was alone. It was 2am and he couldn’t sleep. He was looking for a new game to play, not just any game but something special. Something to fill that empty void in his heart. He lived alone, all his friends were pixels and words on a screen. He was happy that way, with his choices. Sometimes though, it became hard to see what was in the distance. All he could see tonight was his PS3, as he shuffled towards the new PlayStation Plus games of May. “Thomas Was Alone?” Why was Thomas alone? Would Thomas be his friend? One 300mb download later, it would all become clear.

thomasandfriends

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MUD – FIM Motocross World Championship, drink and drive

MUD, what does it stand for? It’s a mystery. The physical instruction manual – a rare thing for a Vita title – is literally a single folded piece of paper, which details absolutely nothing about the game. At all. There’s just legal information, safety precautions and phone numbers to ring in case your soufflé isn’t quite up to scratch. The digital manual doesn’t help either; it just mentions Monster energy drink a lot.

Actually, perhaps MUD is short for ‘Monster’s Urethra Declogger’. Continue reading “MUD – FIM Motocross World Championship, drink and drive” →

WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault

Good lord, I’m having déjà vu yet again! Three months into the life of the WiiU, we’re already seeing the cycle repeat itself as it did with the 3DS; sales start to stall, and third parties are no where to be seen. According to the NDP, WiiU versions of games are selling worse then the Vita! (…Vita still counts?) Nintendo didn’t do enough to advertise the WiiU and court third parties! WiiU is now doomed!

…

Nintendo isn’t to blame for this current mess. Continue reading “WiiU is Failing, but it isn’t Nintendo’s fault” →

Wreck-It Ralph Sequels and Games Announced

Hot off the successful debut of Disney’s Wreck-It Ralph in theaters and their groundbreaking purchase of Lucasfilm, Disney has entered a partnership with Pietriots to release additional movies and merchandise of the gaming-inspired universe on an annual basis. The new properties will demonstrate the momentum of this exciting franchise, as Disney aims to expand its video game operations and usurp Activision’s Skylanders.

The list of known films, to debut in theaters immediately following every E3 Expo, is presented below:

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EB Expo – Handheld Edition

Wii U may have been the big attraction, but 3DS was the real hero who kept us busy in the long lines. A dedicated gaming event like the EB Expo is perfect for StreetPass action, and I got tons. Popular games included “Health & Safety Information” and “System Settings” , which is “OK.. I guess”. Some guy went out of his way to show everyone he owned Etrian Odyssey III. Hardcore, dude. I rated you Fantastic! for your efforts.

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Codemasters: Our Games Suck

Well it turns out Wii U isn’t getting F1 2012. Codemasters pulled an interesting stunt by announcing Wii U would get a Formula 1 game, then a few months later we hear about F1 All Stars, the Mario Kart ripoff. Now it’s been made apparent why this game exists: Codemasters have a contractual obligation to the FIA that requires them to release a Formula 1 licensed game on every mainstream platform (which is also why Vita and 3DS have their own butchered versions of the game). Absolutely terrified of releasing a normal game on Wii U, F1 All Stars fits the bill, and that’s good enough for Codemasters. In this interview we find out what they’re really thinking.

Continue reading “Codemasters: Our Games Suck” →

The Next 5 Years: Naka’s Prediction

Greetings everyone, I am Yuji Naka and I have something to share with you all. This morning I woke up with a clear vision of the future. It was the first time in weeks I had a dream without my pal Sonic interrupting my fishing trip. It started this year and went all the way to the year 2017! Can you believe that? 5 years in a single night! I will have to talk to SEGA about making a new NiGHTs game with this concept. We always have great discussions when they catch me sneaking into my old office, hehe. Anyway, let me start with the year 2012, which I’m sure you all know well!

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Ridge Racer Vita – Impressions

DING DING DING – that’s the sound of Nintendo being knocked out of the hardware business. All-Star development team Cellius™ have released their first game after 5 years of development, Ridge Racer Vita. Sony’s new handheld features amazing graphics and a home console experience in your hands. It’s more than a controller with a screen.

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“Durp!” – SCE 2-for-1 Special

It’s been far too long since the last “Durp!,” hasn’t it?  Truth be told, I’ve been trying to ignore the stupid things developers have been saying just to save me the trouble of writing up about it.  But as you can clearly see, this segment is back from the dead.  As my luck would have it, two beautifully, absurdly, and nearly-impossible quotes were dropped on my groin at nearly the same time.  So what could be SO bad that it ripped me off my lazy rump and into SUPER RANT MODE?

Oh ho ho, just take a look inside and see…

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