Hollywood was left shocked and delighted today, as Dan Aykroyd (star of the Ghost Busteroo’s) today announced he was Mega Man. “It’s true”, he said. “I am Mega Man”.
Last Window
Sometimes I purposefully get the game over scenes just to see what happens. Real gamers care more about experiencing the game than their stats. Plus, if I never die in a game, it’d be just like real life. The only way to really lose is to not explore, to not experience.
Canned Meat
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A Tribute To Funky Kong
Wow, could there finally be a good Nintendo character?
Trackmania Wii
Trackmania is pure racing. Fast, challenging, and rewarding. The game doesn’t waste any time, throwing track after track at you, hundreds of them. This is what makes the game unique, it lets you experience the thrill of mastering a new track over and over again. The races aren’t against real opponents, you’re racing against set times from ghost cars you can drive right through. The only physical thing you’re racing against in this game is the track. There’s 6 different types of track environments, all full of ridiculous paths, loops and jumps.
Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2010
Join Reggie as he celebrates the first night of E3 2010: new software announcements, 3DS, ZELDASS, glorious sales data — all this excitement rapidly increases Reggie’s appetite. Surrounded by so many “game journalists,” Reggie can’t wait to thickly forge his foot against their flabby seats. Deep down, your behind is still sore from last year’s celebration. Punt.
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Reggie disapproves of any DK-themed track.
Sites I Like – Portable Mortal Kombat
What I love about the internet is the ability to get totally lost forever in it. Jump through enough links and you can find all sorts of treasures. The best treasures to find though are lovingly crafted niche websites that embody everything that was wonderful about Web 1.0. It’s 3:30 in the morning on Easter Saturday and I’ve found the perfect site to kick off this new feature of our site, or blogroll category as Web 2.0 jingo defines it. Presenting: Portable Mortal Kombat.
Reggie Kart Videos – E3 2009
Join Reggie as he celebrates countless servings of SORE ASS on the EVE OF E3 2009. How does Reggie relax and prepare for the show floor after flexing his Casual Might during the press conference? He cracks open a beer then TAKES NAMES on the worldwide kart circuit. Then he gets more beer and watches the replays.
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Reggie can be in two places at once. A single Mii cannot contain him.
Things take on interesting turn on the SECOND NIGHT OF E3 2009 as he patrols the worldwide servers for ASS in the name of justice. What did Reggie encounter?
Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz FPS Videos
Monkey Wars. FPS deathmatch gameplay on Wii. Available at launch. Playable with your Wii Remote. Monkeys killing each other with blasters and fresh produce. Understood?
(DivX video link at end of post)
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Wave Race: Blue Storm, F-Zero GX Videos
I remember when racing games had variety, racing that was out-of-this-world that they felt like adventures. N64 had Mario Kart SIXTY FOUR, Diddy Kong Racing, Beetle Adventure Racing, F-Zero X, Wave Race SIXTY FOUR, Ridge Racer Better than Usual, San Francisco Awesome Rush, Cruisin’ Bleh, and a few others not worth mentioning like Star Wars: Poo Racer. Nintendo GAMECUBE had Mario Kart 128, Wave Race: Blue Storm, F-Zero GX, Burnout 2, even 1080*: Avalanche, and I forget the rest. Wii has Mario Kart, F1 2009, Kart Racer, NASCAR Kart Racing, M&Ms Kart Racing, and Mario Kart. Right.
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Bar Oasis
So as I do I was scrolling through the App Store looking for something new to play. The App Store is insidious in nature, trapping gullible people like myself into impulse purchases. I was browsing the top 25 selling role playing games and this title, Bar Oasis, caught my eye. A game based around working at a cocktail bar with dozens of different cocktail recipes? Original, but I wasn’t sold until I saw the screenshots, focusing on the breasts of the bar’s female clientele and a review from, self described tradie, Aussie123212 who claimed he was unable to put it down.
Pietriots.com Exclusive! A Sneak Peak at the Nintendo E3 Conference
Reggie and I had a coffee last week and we had a lot to catch up on. Turns out he’s been so busy kicking arse, taking names and running NOA that he hasn’t even had time to plan E3 in years, let alone get Fatal Frame 4 or Disaster: Day of Crisis localised. Who has been planning E3 then? You guessed it, Cammie Dunaway. Last E3 was a real kerfuffle if you recall my entry last year. Cammie told me they had already done the conference inside an L.A. McDonalds and it involved Reggie fighting everyone. You can just imagine my sense of betrayal when the actual conference took place and Reggie was restrained to talking about sales while Cammie embarrassed herself in front of the gaming community again. I was telling Reggie over coffee that it was these lies that forced me to sleep with Cammie’s daughter out of spite and cause the breakdown of our relationship.
It has to be said: Reggie is such an understanding and caring man. He looks me square in the eye and tells me that I did the right thing to cheat on Cammie with her daughter. He goes on though to explain that, despite my virtuous actions, Cammie had fallen into a state of despair. In her desperate state, the currently scheduled conference was to be her coming out on stage and performing interpretive dance of projected 2011 sales figures to the tune of a Super Mario Bros ringtone. Reggie explained that it was up to me to track Cammie down, cheer her up and deliver a solid E3 script. I asked if we needed a high concept one like my rejected Animal Crossing proposal or actually do the McDonald’s conference from last year. Reggie told me that we just had to keep it simple because planning time was short. Reggie payed for our coffee with a $100 note and left before they could give him change.
Continue reading “Pietriots.com Exclusive! A Sneak Peak at the Nintendo E3 Conference”
Microsoft Media Conference Summary
Well I took one for the team and opted to miss the first half of the Italy vs. Paraguay game to watch the Xbox E3 show something something thingy. Just bullet points because who can be bothered typing words?
- Call of Duty: Black Ops opens show with compelling on-rails footage.
- Microsoft executive Dorky Dad walks off 1993 family sitcom to take over the presentation.
- Metal May Cry footage shown, Dorky Dad confirms PS3 port.
- Gears of War 3 played on stage, 4 player co-op provides great opportunities for friendly fire
- Halo Reach shown on stage.
- Fable 3 shown on stage.
- And that concludes the list of exclusive Xbox games.
- Xbox misses opportunity to RickRoll millions of people and instead maliciously inflict Justin Bieber on the population.
- Some girl’s joke falls flat as she talks to her sister while they co-operatively watch television.
- Xbox announces new sports compatibility just in case your TV doesn’t work with sports.
- Wanker reckons that since he’ll be sharing the stage with a child and a bunch of Asian girls it is appropriate for him to dress as a pimp.
- Baby Tiger mauls and kills young boy named Milo.
- Rare back to the best; completely emulating Nintendo.
- Alleged Kart racing game forgets to include items.
- E3 game of the show so far front-runner Kinect Adventures announced, demo completely ruined by irritating bitches.
- Ubisoft successfully identify Wii Fit free market to exploit.
- Harmonix show off incredible dancing game with ‘white male’ difficulty option.
- Sonic game to curse Kinect launch.
- Rebel Assault 3 announced.
- Forza Kinect enables long sought after Quicktime VR emulation.
- Dorky Dad wins over crowd with free Xbox Quiet, crowd temporarily forgets they already own an Xbox.
Well it was a fairly safe show from Xbox. At no point did they dare upset the crowd by revealing just how much Kinect would cost, only that it would launch in time for Xmas.
BIT.TRIP RUNNER
BIT.TRIP RUNNER is a brand new game on WiiWare which has you controlling a black pixelated character through multiple stages. He runs by himself, but you control when he jumps, slides and more, pressing buttons at the right time to avoid obstacles. It’s a very simple concept, but the extremely good presentation and level design make this a very unique experience.
Again: Eye of Providence
Again is a crime solving adventure game by CING, where you play as the FBI investigating a very deep series of murders.
The style of the game is much different than CING’s other games: they’ve got real people to act out the game rather than drawings, and it works really well. This style naturally leaves the door open for awkward poses and immersion breaking weirdness, but all the actors do a fantastic job with their expressions, and CING does just as good a job using them at appropriate times. It feels very normal as soon as they start talking and you get into the game.
Pietriots 